When my friends find out that I’m a cat I always dodge the question of countin up my lives because I’m afraid to admit to anyone, especially myself, that I only have one left…
Last night I died in my nightmare…(funny enough listening to “Everyone Dies In Their Nightmares” by XXXTENTACION)
I woke up this morning angry, confused, and afraid in a far more overwhelming way than any dream death I’ve experience before. As a frozen flame, one of my morning prayers was this:
“Can the Lord shed this great fear of mine – Have I ruined myself with drugs completely forever? I can’t even feel if I’m experiencing a spiritual death or not…”
These thoughts actually stemmed from not the dream, but an unshaking feeling I had the night before I went to sleep.
This evening my prayer was answered when I was trying to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign. A pastor stopped me and said, “I will give you something better than a pledge for your charity.” And then he proceeded to pray for me answering my exact prayer from this morning without me even telling him and letting me know that I could not have been further from the truth, he said that my faith in Jesus Christ will conquer any spiritual deaths I was facing and that it was not in God’s plan for me to fall this way.
The clarity blinded me so I went to the bathroom to cry.
I leave you with one of my favourite quotes and a heartfelt sentiment,
“This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord. – Jeremiah 9:23-24
Thus, Live Long & Prosper, dear Children of the Dead…
I still do not understand this miracle that was today, this is why in Ayla Nereo fashion I show myself to you to know myself…
To spread so much Love that this world has to change…
then peacefully fade out of memory of existence…
my subtle idea of perfection…
This is the first single for upcoming album “Sin Chronic City” which of course is play on words for Synchronicity. I hope you find something you connect with here and grow with. And I hope you find something you don’t connect with and learn to heart it hard. Oneness or something and the linking of ourselves through souls…For may what we do now echoes out through eternity like the slow fade of love…For Love is infinite and thus triumphed death…Interwoven through a painful struggle and re-unstrangled out the other side by glory & grace…
(Recording and Mixing by Joey Paradis at RxP Studios)
…Never Influenced…Always Inspired…Spread Love…
Last year after Trump won the election and Kanye went to the Trump Tower to what seemed to be to pose and cozy up to him, I was enraged with an intense anger in my heart. My heart exploded so, that my mind could not think clearly. After taking a few days of refuge to breathe so that I can think again I was able to see how short-sighted I was. This onset was not without preparation either, I had been traveling the country and then working the polls during the primary elections and had been telling some of my friends I saw Trump taking it all. I wasn’t buying the left-wing polls, I was listening to the people. When I returned to California others were laughing while taking the spectacle as joke, I was beginning to boil over with outrage as I expected his upcoming victory. However, it was like loosing use of my legs as an onlooking speeding train blazed straight toward me. Petrified in anger and feeling there was nothing I could do.
By the time election day was approaching I had already went through my acceptance phase of grief and was dishing out hard blunt truths. But a dull blade as this was merely only a training weapon for defense, and no tool with which to build on. After several marches, protests, and organizations, the resistance was looking futile. It was far past due time Americans took to the street for what they believe, energy felt more rampant than ever, but the focus was blurry. The young had the desire and drive but were new to this; and the old had the know-how and wherewithal yet man had quite frankly forgotten what democracy looks like. ‘Democracy is most certainly not a spectator sport’ and it was a grand spectacle watching our neighbors go by the throat at one another deciphering our way through it all. The first amendment smelt of decay and fresh blood and it was so fucking beautiful.
Finding my way through it, all the while knowing that no piece of paper is sovereign enough to define my rights. We are human, not a law nor barcode. ‘You have the right, as a human being’; that is to say, ‘I exist, and that’s it!’ Which is not to say that these laws have no decree, but rather that a human being is beyond law. Cher ami, remember this: No gods, no idols…The people of this nation are far too great to be led by a president. For acquiescing to a belief that is not your own is your choice alone, no matter how much a ‘shock doctrine’ may convince you it was your choice all along. And freedom that opposes another’s freedom is not freedom, but oppression. In the words of my friend Tim Holland, “I’m not anti-anything, I’m anti-everything, it fits better.” And thus, within this search of finding my way through I was fortunate to come across a stone where then turned I am able to fight against terrible policies proposed by Trump, Bannon, and the powers that be, with several amazing organizations that do not give in but instead resist with all might on the daily. I am so grateful to be active in democracy, for tyranny reigns when the people refuse to take action. So act daily, for the final judgment is always upon us dear human family. Hating Trump does one no good and only brings one anger and hatred within self, but loving one another will keep stirring the fire in heart to stand for what you believe. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” ‘for we are all we have, and thus, it does not take each of Us, but all of Us.’
For whom this may concern, many blessings to thee, read this prayer in thy heart:
The Prayer to St Jude
O most holy apostle, Saint Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honoureth and invoketh thee universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, and of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me, who am so miserable. Make use, I implore thee, of that particular privilege accorded to thee, to bring visible and speedy help where help was almost despaired of.
Come to mine assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolation and succor of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (here make your request) and that I may praise God with thee and all the elect throughout eternity.
I promise thee, O blessed Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favour, to always honour thee as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to thee.
Trump is a disaster with issues on climate change, true. But the change of our economical structure is inevitable as solar, wind, and renewable energy sources grow less and less expensive they are passing that curve where coal is too expensive thus forcing more and more coal plants to shut down and large corporations switching over to renewables because not only are they cleaner and more efficient, but they are becoming more economically beneficial for them as well. Therefore, our environment will not be saved by political reasons, but because of economical reasons. Silver lining yah yah, keep hope ey 😉😇
I was talking to a DACA recipient last night and his story of how his family came over here is incredible. His mom came here when he was five and his little brother was born here. They are super loving people and hard workers, all of them have no criminal record and multiple jobs. If Trump’s DACA plans are to go through after these six months here, his little brother would be left here without a family and him and his mother would have to leave their family and work to go to Mexico where there is no family or livelihood waiting for them. Please write your local representatives to stand up for DACA. Text “RESIST” to 50409
Hops on soapbox:
No one needs you. They prefer your presence in their life. Self-preservation of life is the first law of nature. Despite how much we may think we need someone, we learn to live without them if we have to.
Thus, what this need we feel is, is a selfless love to share part of our life with one another. Therefore overwhelming gratitude to my family and friends who prefer sharing part of their life with me. Thank you for not needing me, yet still choosing my presence. Infinite Love
*hops off soapbox*
The difference between the truth of this world and the truth of Love is that one divides and tears down and One builds up and gives grace. The alikeness is each truth pisses everyone off in one way or another 😂
Wow, an honor to be on the same show as Brother Ali Flogging Molly and Aphex Twin
Thank you kindly SoupyGato Show <3 http://www.soupygato.com/episodes/506-soupygato-show/